I’ve seen it before when reading other peoples blogs, it have been so for me at my earlier attempts, when you have one good, wonderful day, you will fail like hell the next one.
It started this morning, between 6 and 10 I have no recollection of doing anything, or, I vaguely remember going back to bed (floor) and generally not getting up.
At 12, I decided to nap in the bathroom, even though tired, I didn’t sleep.
After 15 I were extremely tired, and i just kept getting more and more tired, I knew that was bad, as generally, when I go to bed extremely tired, I won’t get up. But I took my nap at 16, and slept to 16:20, not feeling very much better, I laid down again….and poof the clock is 17:46.
The problem is simple: I’m bad at fighting my brain. If my brain says it want to sleep I generally don’t fight back, even though I KNOW that what I’m doing is bad, I lie down anyway. Then when I wake up from an oversleep or so, I’m drained of all willpower, and go back to bed again.
After this mornings oversleep, my father said I looked like a living zombie, and wanted me to sleep properly before school, and unfortunately that didn’t make me mad enough to stay awake. When I woke up at 17:46 I just said to myself that this didn’t work, and that I would quit. I’m now back in my head, and I don’t think I will give up…yet.
I’ve been skipping much of my ‘rules’. I’m not using placebo, I’m not sleeping downstairs, I’m sleeping in the same as room that I ‘work’ in, I’m forgetting the candy I’m promising myself, I’m not filling in info about my nap after napping.
Some of these I have ‘reasons’ to skip, placebo doesn’t wake me up, I didn’t (now i do) have a reliable alarm clock downstairs and I’m not wanting to wake up the family when running in the stairs, I started sleeping in my room before I got my phone working and haven’t quit with it even though I should, skipping candy and info is also pure lazyness.
The reason for skipping everything is pure laziness! I’m making up excuses that doesn’t work out, the downsides are the reasons I’m doing them!
A few nights back all of the family were away, except for me and my sister, my sister sleeps in the basement, so I had the whole ground and second floor all for myself. I had the lights on, and I didn’t get the slightest tired. I believe that if I had the whole house for myself, I wouldn’t need to have headphones, I could blast music all night
#hatten got sidetracked, started playing around with bash scripts and accidentally closed down the browser window, fortunately wordperss autosaves.
#time flows…
Okay, after having taken a few naps and thought this through I’ve realized that the only thing I need to fix is my motivation. That is quite a hard thing to do, but I came up with the idea of “motivational posters”. So I went and grapped some paper and pens and started putting big a4’s in my room.
“_NO_CANDY for those who sleep like a bear”
“SUPER EGO!” -a reference to bit.trip void, a damn hard game where you certainly have to stay concentrated to stay alive
“Resist the urge
you’ll be glad you did
UBERMAN FTW”
“Do not, under any circumstances, sleep when you shouldn’t.
Do not, lie down when you shouldn’t.
Do not, close your eyes, when you shouldn’t.”
These sit at different places in the room, clearly visible, and I hope, no, know, that this will make me get up after napping.
I thought whether I would rewrite the first part of this post, but I decided to let it stay like it was, written by a confused, tired guy.